Snake central

OMFG!!!!!

This is the beginning of May and I have had 5 snakes in the yard.  The first two were mid size garden snakes, oh well.  The third snake was only a baby snake.  I have no idea what type.  The fourth snake was a big black snake of some kind.  It was hideous and on our front porch.  I say hell to the no, you gotta go.  Then two days later...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.  This god awful thing was every bit of 6 foot long, if not 6, and on the damn front porch.  Now for all you people out there that think you should just let a snake be, that is fine, but when it is on my front porch, again I say Hell to the NOOOOOOOOOOO.  Sorry, but I can't possibly.  I have been walking around the gardens just freaking out.  Needless to say, all the plants around the front porch are gone.  I do not want any ground cover around the porch.  I want to be able to see anything sneaking up.  Aunt Mel, you are safe to visit, they are gone.